To You

To the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore,

To the rays of the morning sun travelling through the skies,

To the chirping of the birds in the cool winter air,

more than anything else,

I want to wake up to the sound of your breathe on my neck,

To the touch of your skin against mine,

To the awareness of your body entwined in mine,

To the memory of what happened last night,

To the grasp of your hair in my fingers,

To the mumbling of us until i'm out of my senses,

more than anything else on this planet,

All i want to do

is wake up to YOU...

An Honest Confession (A)

They say that the one whom you fall in love with, or perhaps, may fall in love with at a later stage :P, are the most beautiful ones for you, while to the others, they may be just ordinary looking people. And needless to say, I was also one of the 'shy' victims to this unavoidable judgement. Not that I was on the 'rated' side :P but, right on the other side of it. From his hair to his toe, everything was perfect for me. I could look at him for hours and still not get tired and repeat the same again the next day.

Everytime I look at a guy, I always notice his hair first, and then move on. I mean, not move on, :P but move on to examine his other facial possessions. Now since I was so badly attracted to this guy, I could not help but just glue my eyes on him. Each time our eyes met, I shivered like a leaf. I'd get stuck to where I am and not be able to move one slight bit. His eyes seemed to say so much. But i guess I could not really make out what they meant. To be frank, I never wanted to misinterpret any of his signals.

Ok forget it. The next most important thing I find attractive in men are their stubbles. This is one thing that ties my attention towards them (like hell they care :P)

But for all those who sadly do, I'l be damned :)

Moving on, (I wonder if anyone is even reading this or not), a guy's forearms, gawd how nice they can be. I wonder if there exists such a man who has all these features incorporated.

I'm talking as if I'm one bloody perfect girl, but what the hell, one can always imagine. :)

I often feel that I'm talking crap sometimes ( i mean often), but crap or no crap, I feel I'm entitled to think whatever I want, write whatever I think with no demarcations whatsoever. One cannot always expect me to talk sense after all :P

See I have this weird theory, a man is desirable if he dresses well (preferably in formals), well tailored trousers, folded cuffs (till the elbows) revealing the strong forearms, well chosen shoes, and of course, on top of that, with a clean heart. By clean I mean a heart that holds no feelings of disloyalty and dishonesty. Ok I know I'm being highly unrealistic, and that whatever I mentioned is NOT always the case, but atleast I can make myself happy by merely writing about it.

Oh yes and of course, the 'voice' :P I can possibly not forget this. The heavier the voice is, the weaker a girl becomes :) correction- vulnerable i should say.

(atleast I'm being honest)

But on a very very serious note, I'l finally fall for that guy who dresses well :P, is totally humorous, possesses a gentle heart, and most importantly, knows and understands the beauty and importance of a relationship. And I'm still waiting for that gentleman to show up my doorstep (or whatever step).

I know most of the readers (if there are any) would feel this is a piece of total crap, but all i can say is that there could not have been a more honest confession from me in any form possible.

P.S. I hope all the male fraternity to kindly take this post in a positive manner :)

(I might as well get my 'gentleman' somewhere soon)

null and void

have you ever felt loneliness?? has it ever left you numb?? have you sometimes wanted to run away from reality and create your own world of fantasies? or is it just me whose feeling all this crap? why am i getting such weird feelings?

i am living with my parents, my sis.. but still there is something that is burning inside me. lots is happening man!! i am too far away from my coveted desires and i'm rather blank as to when will i get them materialized. all that i can say is that i'm BLANK. all i think about is my life. all i want is the one to whom i have surrendered it all.

this feeling you know, is damn crazy. it doesn't let you do anything else. all it does is make you as restless as possible. and as if that was not enough, i have my CAT exam 2 weeks ahead and you can very well guess my condition regarding my preparation. I'm trying hard to cope with the situation but all in vain.

it gets worse when you know that this is now or never for you and whatever amount of hardwork you can put in is NOW. and all i'm thinking is.... you know what.

maybe i'm some kinda idiot who is hitting her own foot on the axe, but i still feel i'm not alone.

and i can defend myself by saying that whatever m going thru right now is for the very first time. never have i felt so insecure, so bad, so so so wrong. things feel so wrong.. yes..... wrong is the word.

you know sometimes the patience inside you runs out and all you have to do is burst open. ever since i completed my B.E. (ever since means 8 months :P), i have been at home and just at home. i had nothing to do except study for CAT and other life threatening exams.

now at present all i want is that i get my joining in the company that i have been waiting for, for the past 4-5 months, or i get enrolled in a good ,decent institution to go ahead with my mba, that i'm not really in a mood to do ;)

i wish this phase passes as soon as possible. this has been the worst one that i have ever come across. and i hope i never have to go thru it again ever.

i wish someone's listening .. i meant ... GOD :)

An Encounter with a Lizard

I discoverd it only when i entered my room and found something crawling over my desk, between my books and all the other debris lying around my study table. I thought it must be some coackroach or something. But when I pushed some tings around, I saw a small dark colored lizard merrily moving all over my table. I must admit that I myself did not spend that much time around my study table, which was spent by that innocent little reptile. trust me. ...
Nevertheless, I kept staring the ignorant thing for a long time. Let me admit, I HATE lizards and i can't stand even the sight of them anywhere near me. But, since it was all over my things, i had to stand there and find out some way to hush it away.
I had filled up my bucket of lukewarm water for an early bath, i.e. my early bath takes place around 1 in the afternoon. Anyway, leaving that to cool off while I was hunting for that ignorant which was able to succesfully camouflage itself in the wooden texture of my table, I found a folder stick which was long enough , to tap on the table from a safe distance. But, I had my own fears. It could jump suddenly in any direction it felt like. I had to be careful. But that little lizard was, I think, enjoying this game of hide and seek with me. She dint realize that I hated it like anything. And the best part was... whenever i patted my folder stick on the table to frighten it, I seldom succeeded in doing so. But, on the contrary, it's sudden movements and jumps, scared the hell out of me each minute. I was feeling like a lose in front of it. It never knew what a little piece of thing it was and how much could it frighten humans.
Gradually, I started shifting my books and papers from the table onto my bed; so that I could locate it easily. Let me tell you, this needed a lot lot lot of courage on my part to deal with something that I am madly scared of. Each time I shifted some part of my belongings on my bed, I kept standing motionless, without showing the movement of my breathing to that lizard; as if I felt that it would pounce on me the same second.
But after what felt like an hour or so, I managed to move away everything that my table held. The reptile was joyously playing around the wood. Now that it had enough space to show her jumping skills, it increased my chances of having a breakdown. But somehow God up there, must have had mercy on me after having watched a full hour episode of me and the lizard in constant battle. Both of them seemed to enjoy me being miserable. The lizard suddenly moved to the edge of the table and slipped underneath. For once in that full hour, I felt relaxed. But the next thing I was fearing was its sudden return. Thankfully, both god and the lizard had released me of the torture. It vanished somewhere behind the table. The best thing was that I could not see it.
Finally, I could resume my daily chores. The water had already lost its warmth and I was forced to carry on with the same. I still have to rearrange my stuff back on the table, now that the devil has left its possession. And not that I am lazy or something, but I think after having read the whole tale, you may guess the reason of me not aving returned in my room to rearrange my table.

Aakriti Sharma.....

dilemma

After having sailed into the sea of her "so-called" strong relation, she one day realized, that it was time she opened her eyes to reality. She had immense faith on her own ability to carry on with her love as well as on him. It was a dream come true when she had found him. They had been madly in love with each other. There was not one thing on earth when they felt that it was not meant to be. They were on cloud nine, until now. The more the time went by, the more she had a notion that things were not "so" bright now. Although he constantly reminded her of how much he loved her and how much he wanted to be with her, she still could not come to terms with him.
He was not much expressive with his feelings for her. It was just that he somehow managed to get through. Maybe she expected a lot from him, but he could hardly come up to the mark. This made her mad. She could not handle the relation anymore. She constantly reminded him of what was he like in the very beginning. But, he, in the spirit of being more mature, or whatever was it, paid less heed to what she felt. They were an awesome pair, noone like them. But, something, somewhere was amiss. She felt that something was still missing. She could do anything to repair the damage, if ever there was one. On the other hand, he did not feel different about anything. Everything was the same for him. He could never realize that if he did not pay attention to her, things would not be the same ever. Time was running out. It was now or never.
Something had to be done, but what? She could not decide what to do to make him come back to her, if at all he had gone. Was she hallucinating??? Or was it for real?? Does it happen to every one, was all she could think. Why is it happening to me, was what she often felt. Her happiness knew no bounds when she found him. The more she spoke to him, the more she had a reason to survive. Her sole aim was 'to be' with her love. She wanted to reach her destination, to climb the mountain peak, where serenity resided.
She often felt that she loved him much more than he loved her. She also felt that he was never in love with her. She knew it was not true, still something troubled her. She didn't know what, but she still knew. Sometimes she felt that putting an end to her sweet relatio would be the right choice. But, she could not let herself come to it. Something stopped her from doing so. She could not bear the pain of estrangement. Meare the thought of it made her cry for hours together. Maybe what she wanted was too far away to happen.
If only he understood her well and properly, could things be in place again. If only he gave her the kind of love and attention that she required, could they have been together today. But, as luck would have it, his indifference to her feelings and being in his own world was what kept her worried. She knew it well that such an attitude was not going to keep them together. Her dilemma was taking her senses away. She was dying gradually. She needed to be with him. If onle he knew.......if only he felt te same as her..........if only.......